© Lisbeth Coiman
At the peak of a mania episode, I have the tendency to develop psychosis. It starts with self-referent thoughts, the idea that the news refers to me. If left untreated, the idea that “they-are-out-to-get-me” develops into full-blown delusion of surveillance through my computer, other digital devices. However, I have also found solace in the use of technology to survive isolation.
When I lived in Ponca City, OK, 98 miles away from the closest city and isolated from everything I held dear, I registered in writing courses online at NYU Continuing Education. But I couldn’t afford a complete professional program online. Fortunately for me, The University Learning Center at Ponca City offered distance education graduate programs.
I registered for the Masters in Education, Adult Education Management and Administration program, which uses state of the art technology, broadband, and Interactive Television from small cubicles in a non-descriptive location in town. From those cubicles, I participated in real time in graduate courses at Northwestern Oklahoma State University in Alva, OK, a small university in the Oklahoma panhandle.
I watched my professors’ lectures and my classmates on set of squares at the bottom of a large television screen. My classmates and me were in four extramural locations: a federal prison, NWOSU Enid Campus, the NWOSU Alva’s campus. The fourth location was mine, the University Learning Center. If I wanted to say something, I raised my hand, waited for the teacher to acknowledge me, then pressed a button on my computer and spoke. The TV built-in camera showed my image in close up to my classmates and professor.
My tech savvy teachers used all sorts of techniques and resources to make our participation as close as possible to a real classroom experience. I jotted down some of their techniques that I still use today in my own teaching practice. When it was time to take test, I received them via courier, took the test in front of proctor, and then sent the test back to the main campus. I checked my progress online, and had phone conferences with my professors when I needed to ask questions or clarify concepts. Essays were sent back and through FTP, and standardized test were done online with a proctor in the room.
I’m no longer isolated. I live in one of US greatest cities and I am surrounded by people I love and admire. Despite still experiencing self-referent thoughts, I use the Internet and digital devices for almost every activity of my life, not just teaching and learning. I research, blog, and use social media for business purposes. I share files, pictures, modify pictures, and program my online presence sometimes days ahead. I also interact with friends via social media. I read the news, search for recipes, shop online, clarify doubts, ask for directions, plan trips, rent housing, buy tickets for concerts or movies, do online activism for both my home and adoptive countries.
The Internet and digital technology saved me from isolation and has provided me with tools to support myself, and stay engaged despite my limitations. “They” are still out to get me, but I face my fears. And Write on.
