It’s widely believed that people who suffer from bipolar disorder lack the focus to complete their projects. Without adequate care or guidance, a bipolar person can get lost in a myriad of projects and interests in the height of mania, and then lack the energy to carry them out when depressed.
For a while it seemed that way with me. With equal passion and dedication, I took care of my family, cooked elaborate meals, crocheted tablecloths and blankets, planted trees, made cards, taught classes, and wrote a book.
My book started as tribute to a dear friend, the most extraordinary woman I have ever met. I begun writing when she fell ill and continued writing past her death, my personal way of grieving.
Eventually I lost my book, or the flash drive where I had saved it. I felt awful and almost abandoned the idea altogether, but I pulled myself together and started again. This time, I decided to drop everything that could distract me. I refocused and set specific goals: a working schedule and space, an outline, and a number of words per week.
At the beginning of this year, I told myself, “Finish the book.” But the year itself started on shaky grounds. Another relocation threw me off balance and threatened my best intentions. I was able to pull it off, though. With strong determination, for the last six months I’ve been writing nonstop, focused on the goal, daring to tell my story. I fulfilled my promise to myself.
It’s the end of the year, and as I write this I search for a word to define what I’m experiencing in this moment. It involves the idea of “completion,” as in “the action of finishing something.”
It’s a great feeling, seeing something born from inside of me grow and become an entity of its own. Not a child. A book.
Maybe the word that I need is satisfaction.
Today as the year closes, I have one more great reason to celebrate: I completed my book of memoir.
Happy New Year to Y’all.
Culminación
Es una creencia ampliamente establecida que aquellos que sufren de desorden bipolar carecen de enfoque para completar sus proyectos. Sin cuidados adecuados o consejo, una persona con desorden bipolar puede perderse en una mar de proyectos e intereses en el pico de la manía, y después carecer de energía para completarlos cuando está deprimida (o).
Por un tiempo ese parecía ser mi caso. Con la misma pasión y dedicación, cuidaba mi familia, cocinaba platos elaborados, tejía manteles y cubrecamas, plantaba árboles, hacía tarjetas, daba clases, y escribía un libro.
Mi libro comenzó como tributo a una querida amiga, la mujer más extraordinaria que he conocido. Comencé a escribir cuando ella se enfermó y continué escribiendo después de su muerte, la manera de expresar mi dolor.
Eventualmente perdí mi libro, o la memoria portátil donde lo había grabado. Me sentí terrible y casi abandono la idea, pero me sobrepuse y comencé otra vez. Esta vez decidí dejar todo lo que me podía distraer. Me enfoque y establecí objetivos específicos: un horario y un lugar de trabajo, un plan, un número de palabras por semana.
Al comienzo de este año, me dije a mi misma “Termina el libro.” Pero el año mismo empezó sobre un suelo inestable. Otra mudanza me sacó de balance y amenazó mis mejores intenciones. Pero me sobrepuse. Con fuerte determinación, durante los últimos seis meses he escrito sin parar, enfocada en mi objetivo, atreviéndome a contar mi cuento. Me cumplí mi promesa.
Es el fin de año, y mientras escribo esto busco por una palabra que defina lo que estoy viviendo. Involucra la idea de “culminación,” como el acto de completar algo.
En una gran sensación, ver crecer algo que nació de mi y convertirse en un ser independiente. No un hijo. Un libro.
A lo mejor la palabra que busco es satisfacción.
Hoy, cuando el año finaliza, tengo una gran razón más para celebrar. Terminé de escribir mi libro de memorias.
¡Feliz Año para todos!
Satisfaction?
Yes, satisfaction, as in I am content for having accomplished something significant to me.
Congratulations! You offer me hope. Who knows, perhaps I will finish some (or at least one) of my unfinished projects in 2015. Happy New Year.
Thanks Kitt,
I am glad my little success story inspires you. Happy New Year to you too.
It is a HUGE success story. I’m truly impressed.
Lisbeth,
I so admire you and to think you lost your first draft and did not give up. I bow to you my dear! Give me hope, though I keep my projects small right now. I will make a commitment to just write this year! All the best in all your future writing goals!
Kitty
Thanks, Kitt. Losing my first notes (I can’t even call it a draft. They were notes and an outline.) was a set back. It took me sometime to recover, but in the end gave me determination to complete the project.